Stickley Prickly or Warm and Fuzzy?
“Stickley Prickly or Warm and Fuzzy?” . . . Different strokes for different folks, right? Dealing with people is a fine art. By fine art I mean it takes a practiced hand and a graceful understanding to effectively communicate with people what they need to hear to yield the best results. Everybody loves the warm and fuzzies. It’s a currency so common that it’s almost lost all meaning. People become addicted to it, so when the time comes for them to receive in the slightest bit of help that comes in the form of some constructive criticism, they don’t take it too well. That’s just the thing. There are times when people need a solid stickley prickly. Most of us take it personally, and yes the truth can hurt, but without these burrs of truth, how will we possibly be able to grow?
Knowing when to dole out stickley pricklies versus warm and fuzzies is something that takes practice, insight, and compassion--it takes a willingness to be honest, and accept your own in due course. I’ve talked about the EBA before (emotional bank account). One of the most important things we can take from that is how to build people up, support them, and offer criticism in a way that doesn’t strip away their character while still communicating with them where they can improve and what they’ve done well. Knowing when to use your fuzzies and your pricklies means knowing why you need to talk to someone. By building up that emotional bank account, and fostering those relationships, giving out constructive criticism or compliments becomes more of an art over time.
Some people by nature will warrant more pricklies than they will fuzzies, and the reverse holds true as well. You’ll find that when you manage people and employees that no matter than kind of worker you have, each requires their own approach to how you handle them. In that line of thinking, you’ll want to remember too, just because you’re in a position to criticize, doesn’t mean you’re in the right to dismantle them. Think carefully on the words you speak, and what you want them to hear.
