There are no Participation Trophies in Life
“There are no Participation Trophies in Life”
When my kids were growing up, I noticed whenever they were doing activities be it sports or otherwise, these coaches were handing out trophies just for showing up and being part of the team. That struck me as a little odd, see, when I go to work and I do what I need to do, I get what’s called a paycheck. There’s no celebration, there’s no trophy; your “reward” is just another deposit in the bank. It’s so counter to what life and the real world is like, you get what you get because of what you put into it. If doling out participation trophies is somehow tantamount to helping our children then we are very wrong in our thinking. What kind of example are we setting for them by lowering the standards of actual success to virtually nothing? This kind of coddling will weaken and give our children the illusion that failure is acceptable because at the end of the day, we all win. No, we don’t all win. We don’t get trophies for tending the same garden as everyone else. In the real world, some of the highest accolades and most prestigious awards come at great personal cost, investment, and hard work. I know I keep beating that drum, but it’s imperative that we understand how to value effort and reward real integrity and work ethic.
What is it like to live your life with everyone telling you that you’re awesome, you’re the best, and you’re worthy of every plaque or trophy we have to give, then, to step outside of that snow globe of deceit in the serendipity of a manager’s office as he reams you out for being a disappointing mass of molecules and mediocrity? Can you imagine how psychologically crushing and devastating it must be to realize that you are nothing remarkable, just playing on an even field with the same challenges and lack of trophies as the rest of the world? At this point the game has changed, you’ve got a new set of rules and there is no winner. The blindfold of innocence is gone; the days you spent in comfort thinking life was kind and the rewards came to those who showed up were just as important as those for improvement or true achievement are immeasurably inferior. I imagine at this point our exemplary subject is feeling void of life or meaning. By stripping away the mindset and growth-oriented mentality that true recognition, reward, and honor comes with hard work and challenge, you prepare a generation to expect, demand, and worship the pettiest of accolades. You deprive true achievement any actual meaning or relevance, and you give a false sense of entitlement to those with meaningless or empty awards.
Life punches you in the nose, often. So, you can try and try, but you may spend your whole life on the bench—will you get your participation trophy for being average? No. You only get trophies when you accomplish something and win. Sometimes you have to realize that being the best at [insert a passion here] just isn’t in the hand you were dealt, move on, and find something else to try hard at. Because guess what, there are trophies out there for those who are willing to work hard, make sacrifices, and achieve something great in response to their efforts.
